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Santa’s cRaZy Plan

By Marcus Santer

Alight…

I know it’s Christmas eve and you probably want to get off the computer and get stuck into the festive season (I do too) but I HAVE to tell you about this crazy little guy who showed up at my door last night.

He was short, about 4 feet tall.

He also had weird shoes that curled up at the toe.

And even more weird, he had pointy ears.

I asked him who he was and he said he was a messenger from Santa!

Apparently Santa is getting older and slower and he’s concerned about a lack of energy now. He’s also worried about having health problems and doesn’t want to drop dead whilst carrying present to kids due to his weight.

So he wanted my advice.

Can you believe that?

So here’s what I told this messenger to tell Santa:

1. Energise

I told the messenger to tell Santa he needs to concentrate more on getting enough quality sleep. Staying up tonight to deliver presents is one thing, but he shouldn’t make a habit of it.

I also explained Santa needed to learn how to better manage the stress of his job and start practicing Qigong.

2. Start exercising more

I said to tell Santa his body evolved to do three types of physical exercise:

a) Lots of walking – So instead of hitching up the reindeer team to go to the store or run errands, I told the messenger to tell Santa to get his blubber butt outside and walk through the snow.

b) Occasional sprints – He could run up and down the stairs at every tenth house he delivered to. Or if that was too much, every 100 and work from there.

c) Heavy lifting – Instead of letting his elves do all the hard work, I told the messenger to tell Santa to roll his sleeves up and get stuck in.

3. Quit eating the milk and cookies

When going down chimneys and seeing a plate of cookies and a glass of milk, ignore it! And instead, leave a note next to them saying next year he’d prefer to be left fruit or maybe some meat and cheese instead.

And instead of milk, please leave water.

Anyway, so that’s that.

This is the simplified plan I have for Santa.

  1. Energise
  2. Move More
  3. Eat Right

Look familiar?

We’ll see if he listens in 2015.

The full plan is all laid out for you in the ZEN+ book, still available for pre-order.

Bye for now

Marcus

P.S. Want to hear my favourite Christmas Joke?

It was late on Christmas Eve and Luke Skywalker was fast asleep.

Suddenly he awoke, he’d felt a disturbance in the force.

Plus there was a strange rustling sound coming from downstairs.

Silently, using all of his Jedi skills, he crept downstairs with his trusty light sabre in hand. From its light he could see a dark shadow under the Christmas tree…

It was Darth Vader!

“Darth!” Luke shouted, “What are you doing under my Christmas tree?”

“Ah, young Skywalker” Darth replied, “I wanted to feel your presents.”

Happy Christmas =)