ZEN+ : Simple, Direct, Effective : ZEN+ Benefits

The only social skill you’ll ever need

By Marcus Santer

The Sunday Quote:

“Be interested, not interesting.”
Brian Kurtz

You and I are social creatures.

During my research for the ZEN+ book, time and again whilst searching to discover what we need to live happier, healthier and longer lives I came across the importance of social connection.

I even found controversial evidence claiming loneliness to be as harmful to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Controversial or not, the claim is based on research and evidence.

Now I have to confess that when it comes to being social I’m more on the Hermit side of the scale than Socialite.

As such, being in groups, making small talk and mingling is something I like about as much as a slug likes being put in a bowl of salt.

But sometimes it’s unavoidable.

Luckily I have tools that help me when I find myself in a new social setting.

And being interested instead of interesting is the most powerful.

Let me explain…

I used to think that the key to being sociable was to be the one doing all the talking. And trust me, after a few drinks I could talk the hind legs off a donkey.

But you know what?

That guy who just talks and talks about himself and how wonderful he is, he’s so fecking boring!

Eventually I learned that most people love to talk about their most favourite subject in the world.

​Which is…

Themselves.

So whenever possible, I shut up and I ask people to tell me about themselves, I ask them questions, and dig deeper based on their answers.

Like I said, we’re naturally social creatures, so it doesn’t take long before I find myself genuinely interested in the person I’m talking to.

​Being interested is so much easier than being interesting.

So the next time you:

  1. Get invited to a party
  2. Go on a date
  3. Have to attend a business meeting
  4. Rock up to a ZEN+ workshop

Don’t try to be the most interesting and exciting person there, simply help the people you come into contact with to talk about themselves and be interested in them.

When you do this, it makes socialising so much easier and rewarding.

Bye for now

Marcus

P.S. If you found this Z+D useful, you’ll feel like a kid in a candy store with a copy of my book:

ZEN+ The Art and Science of Living Healthier for Longer

Download your copy here.