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How to talk to people when you’ve nothing to say…

By Marcus Santer

Small talk.

I don’t know about you…

But I hate it.

Yet thanks to:

And knowing that: People Nourish People…

I frequently find myself having to do it.

As an introvert (and borderline hermit) I always used to find ‘mingling’ excruciating.

I still don’t enjoy it and given the choice I’ll happily avoid it.

But that’s not always possible.

Fortunately I discovered (during my training to become a counsellor) the key to socialising isn’t to be the one doing all the talking.

Ugh, ugh.

The key to being sociable, the key to talking to folk when you’ve nothing to say, and the key to being perceived as great company is being interested in the other person and encouraging them to do the talking.

But how do you do that?

By asking questions.

“But what questions do you ask?” I hear you say.

I’ve learned a few good ones over the years, through trial and error.

And then last week I came across a really nifty acronym for this (I love me a good acronym) and I’d like to share it with you now.

So that if you ever find yourself in a social situation with nothing to say…

You’ll easily be able to handle it.

I tell ya… I wish I’d had this years ago.

Here it is: FORD

Where:

Remember being sociable isn’t about being the one doing all the talking.

That’s hard work and it’s incredibly boring (unless it’s me doing the talking LOL!)

Being sociable boils down to asking questions, being interested in the other persons answers and letting them do the talking whilst you do the listening.

Don’t underestimate the value of this.

One of the many lessons I learned from my days as a counsellor is few people ever feel listened to.

Really listened to.

And if you listen to them and show genuine interest in them they will like you for it.

People nourish people and you can use FORD to make sure people leave feeling enriched after talking with you.

Plus you’ll never get stuck for something to say ever again.

Win/Win.

Of course Social Connection is just one of the habits you need to cultivate if you want to stay young and age well.

Discover more about the other 6 here.

Bye for now

Marcus